


this loss of sleep over you

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: M/M, Pining, Van Days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 00:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11589528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sometimes, when they're pressed together in their broken down van, Joe finds himself thinking about Patrick quite often.





	this loss of sleep over you

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at like 3 am and i actually quite like it. fetus joe was a pining mess and you know it. 
> 
> enjoy!

Joe has a hard time sleeping when he's pulled way too close to his crush in a broken down van. He's seen Patrick sleep, he's seen him panic, he's seen him call himself disgusting. He's learned to love him, to comfort him, but the line of platonic was crossed as soon as Patrick turned seventeen.

Pete teases him about staring at Patrick's lips, but Joe feels like he stares at Patrick's everything. His thighs (he thinks he could crush his head with them), his eyes, his smile, his hair when he doesn't have a hat on. He's stunning, and he wishes Patrick could stop saying he's ugly, that it's good for Pete to be the frontman rather than him.

"No one wants to hear the fat white teen be in front of a band," he told them one night, while Joe's breath started to slow down and Pete's incessant blinking was growing inexistent. He remembers clinging into their singer, tell him sweet bullshit near his ear. He wants him, he needs him, he loves him.

He looks at the ceiling of the van as Pete's breath resonates around. Andy is at the driver's seat, peacefully asleep. Patrick's eyes are firmly shut, and he looks more at peace than he's ever looked during concerts or while recording. The need to cradle his head and kiss him senseless is so strong, and Joe feels like he's helplessly in love.

He thinks about Andy's playful bickering with Pete, the shine in their eyes as they talked about guys and Pete's celebrity crushes. Joe thinks about his family, his brother's distaste as he talked about boys and girls alike with the same dreamy tone. He likes to believe Andy and Pete have found something between each other.

But Patrick is asleep, and he's alone, and he just wants to claim those lips as his. But Patrick hasn't shown any interest in him that way, and he doesn't want to freak his friend out.

He hates himself for liking him like that sometimes. He doesn't want to ruin their friendship over this.

Joe licks his lips, the need to just do what he wants so strong he feels the hatred for himself burn in his chest. He decides he'll do it, soon, someday, sometime. He knows he's too much of a pussy to go through with it.

He wakes up the next morning with no recollection of ever falling asleep, and Pete prods him with his hand. "Joe, you've got to make a move," he tells him. The Jewish boy notices Patrick isn't there, probably taking a walk around where Andy parked.

"What do you mean?" his mind still feels sluggish and he has a vague idea of what Pete means, but he doesn't want to believe he's that obvious.

Pete's grin is devilish as he fixes his hair. "Kiss Patrick already." He pats his shoulder and chuckles; Joe wonders if he knows the secrets of everybody in the band. "I'm gonna go see Jeanae now, see ya." He waves his hand good bye and Joe stares as he leaves to God knows where.

Joe sighs, and he sees Patrick is coming back from somewhere with a sandwich and a smile that screams _kiss me, make out with me_ and Joe screams internally. He licks his lips as he shifts the weight between his legs, trying to stay calm.

"I got some sandwiches for everyone, Joe!" Patrick announces, a proud look in his eyes. "Where did Pete go?"

Joe shakes his head, a soft laugh escaping his lips. "Told me he was going to see his girlfriend, but he's probably making out with Andy."

Patrick seems to almost choke on his spit. "O-oh," he mutters. He's so adorable, and something pulls at Joe's gut.

"Can we share a sandwich?" he asks him, and Patrick nods almost too excitedly as they sit down inside the van. It isn't cozy, and his main hobby there is being uncomfortable, but it feels like home.

Patrick gives him a half of his sandwich and he starts eating gladly. "Where did you buy it?" he asks between gulps of food. Patrick has a sincere smile on his lips, and Joe finds it almost too cute.

"Some shop down the block, didn't look at the name. Is it good?"

"Yeah," Joe nods. "Maybe I'm just hungry."

Patrick shoves him aside with a playful, soft expression, and Joe laughs, although his stomach feels full of knots.

They keep eating and talking, and Joe feels like his cover of mere friendship will fall at any second. Patrick is oblivious, though, so maybe, just maybe he should be fine.

When Pete comes back he looks disappointed, probably because they aren't cuddling or making out aggressively, and he pats Joe's back before taking a sandwich and eating.

Andy comes back a few minutes later, looking disheveled and excusing himself as Pete smiles warmly at him.

Joe loves his friends, and Patrick smiles at him as they eat their makeshift lunch.


End file.
